In March of 2016, I had an intense spiritual experience that forced my Ego out into the light, where I could see him for the first time ever. (And yes, it was a ‘him.’) My Ego cried for an hour straight at being called out for the first time, and then asked me if he had to leave. I was completely caught off guard by the pitiful sadness he displayed, and his question of asking me if he had to leave. I told him to hang in there, I wouldn’t throw him out…but I also didn’t know how to allow him to stay. It was a shock to realize that the Ego does indeed exist within us, as an intelligent and independent aspect of the self that I could actually talk to. It was NOT, as I previously assumed, just a mindless, hateful thought process.
I talked all night with my Ego and was fascinated by the things he told me. Among other things I learned that the Ego does independently identify as male or female in most cases (which seems to have nothing to do with sexual preference). I found that it brought me closer to him, as it felt more respectful to be able to say “him” instead of “it”.
We apologized to each other for the all things we had done to one another throughout my life, then we agreed to put all of those grudges behind us. Instead, we chose to love and honor each other from then on…a clean slate. The next day, my Spirit Guides energetically cleaned my Ego up, made him look healthy and gave him a symbolic pair of wings.
I was now happy to have a new best friend in the Ego. I did not expect anything miraculous to occur as a result of this new relationship. But I talked with my Ego (who asked if he could be called Martin) all the time. He was surprisingly cheery and respectful, nothing like the evil, dominating character people have made the Ego out to be.
After three months, miracles began to happen. First came abundance miracles: I would be at the store and get up to the register and things that should have been a total of $300.00 were ringing up at $60.00! Crazy. The next time I was at the store, the prices that are listed on the shelf were so cheap that they weren’t making sense. This happened a number of times at different stores. I still don’t try to understand it, but it continues.
Then after the abundance, the love miracles started to come: first as non-judgement in very intense emotional situations, which soon turned into unconditional love for the very people who were screaming at me or throwing a plate back in my face because something was wrong with the food (I worked as a server at the time). Instead of becoming enraged at their behavior like I had always done, or questioning how anybody could act like that (as I had always done), instead time would slow down and I would go into a buffering phase where I knew I didn’t have to judge or react because it was none of my business!! Really? None of my business even though it was happening to me. I know it doesn’t make sense until you experience it for yourself. I can’t even put into words how huge a relief it was to not have to react to someone acting obnoxious. It’s freedom.
This radical new shift in perception happened over a span of one week at work. One week! I worked there for 8 years and in one week my behavior was healed. So within that one week of not reacting, my tips went up from 10% to 30% or more sometimes!! Same tables, same people. They were complimenting me left and right and throwing money at me. And I realized it was because they recognized on some level that I no longer hated the way they acted and offered only love in return. After the initial phase of non-judgement, the love followed as a natural result. I would see someone who was rude to me and that I did not consider a friend, and now it was as if I was seeing a long lost relative for the first time in 20 years. I would actually look forward to seeing those people more than my own friends!
I would ask them a question and they would respond with something sarcastic and rude. And I would think that was the best thing I had ever heard! Hilarious. Now that I had transitioned to non-judgement, it didn’t matter what they said, because I loved them no matter what. As a matter of fact, some of those people actually became my friends and some of my long time friends stopped talking to me because my new attitude was too genuine and nice and it overloaded their systems.
The next miracle was a health miracle: I was cured of a lifelong mold allergy. I found mold in my room and panicked because I could feel it wrecking my system like it had always done. So I asked for the Ego, Holy Spirit and my Spirit Guides to work together to fix it somehow. They told me to go get allergy pills and to not go into my room that night. The next day they told me to not defend against the mold and to instead invite it into my system and thank it for the lessons it had brought to me in the past. I welcomed it, and imagined myself putting down a sword and shield I had used to defend against it in the past.
The next day they told me not to take any allergy pills, and to spend the night in my room. I did not like this idea at all. I was terrified to go in there because I had started to finally feel a little better from avoiding my room altogether. But I went in the room to change after work. I spent 2 hours in there and nothing happened!! I did not feel any symptoms whatsoever from being in my room and breathing in the mold. All of the crappiness I felt from the day before was gone, and I felt great.
They told me this sword-and-shield nonresistance exercise was the blueprint to heal everything: hunger, abundance issues, emotional issues and even physical disease. I have used it since then on all sorts of issues and I have found it to be astonishingly powerful. (In fact it has become one of the key exercises I recommend as part of the homework for Ego Integration clients.)
Now I feel at peace 80% of the time, an integrated peace of body and mind. And all of my fears are gone! This is all because the Ego and I have become integrated, which allows the Ego to function in holiness and light.
I gradually realized the reason all of this was happening was because the Ego didn’t need to be in control all of the time and was actually working with me instead of against me. The changes have been so miraculous for me that I wanted to be able to do this for other people. I wanted everyone and their Ego to experience this beautiful harmony as well.
I asked Spirit to please show me a way we could do it. Our friend and business partner Kay Hamill was the first courageous one who agreed to receive an Integration, during our Retreat in Woodstock, NY in the summer of 2016. Thank you so much to Kay (our Group Genius) and Spirit. I can now do Ego Integrations on people and it is the same, energetically, as what I experienced back in March, when my Ego first appeared to me.
The Integration is a two-part process. The Integration session itself links and anchors in your ego and holy self together energetically on the plane of existence, and allows your Ego to come out of hiding… but you have to follow up by working regularly and sincerely with your Ego. You only have to undergo the Integration once, but you do have to patiently work with your Ego afterward, or as we are discovering, it simply will not work.
As I work with them I see more and more that each Ego is this beautiful, shining being that has just been misunderstood. I feel a deep connection with Egos, and I love and feel called to help each one of them. Each time I do an Integration for someone, I go to a whole new level of inner peace. Sometimes I have to ask the peace to stop because it is too intense!! I am thankful to every person who gets an integration, as it heals me as well.
I was shown by Spirit how unimportant most things are that we deem important. Things like guilt and blame and fear. We are so deeply attached to these things and we don’t know how to let them go before our Egos become integrated, because the Ego is used to getting its attention this way. So we and our Ego have to find healthier ways to be in relationship. This is why it’s important to work together to establish trust by getting to know and love the Ego.
I ask people to invite their Ego to eat, go out for drinks, do yoga, meditate, go to a rock concert etc. But equally important, I also ask them to invite Ego to do things they don’t like to do, or find difficult, or to help them to make it through traffic or a boring meeting, or to support them in a tough or scary situation. This helps to build mutual trust, and gives the Ego a chance to prove him or herself.
It’s impossible to say how long it will take for miracles to happen for everyone, as each person is different. It all seems to hinge on how quickly mutual trust can be built with the Ego. Some have reported an instant shift energetically, but for most others, it seems to take longer. I believe that if you and your Ego can trust each other immediately, then things will happen instantly. If not, it’s okay. For the first time ever, you are beginning to establish trust. We have been at war with our Ego for thousands of years in a reincarnation cycle, so when it took 3 months for me to notice a shift, I was happy that it was that short!
You would not believe how amazing, powerful and friendly your Ego can be once you allow it into the light!! You will have a new best friend for life. Give it a chance to prove this to you. Start working with your own Ego if you feel guided to. Ego is tired of living in misery and hatred, it’s a lonely existence to be blamed and hated for everything. Why not try loving your Ego instead? You won’t regret it if you do.
(To book an integration session go here.)